Understanding His/Hers

4 Mar

So after work my cousin and i are arguing over the issue of whether women and men can just be friends.

In her world friendship with guy has to have an end which is the happily ever after story but i argue that in my world friendship is the end and it isn’t a means to anything.

Her point is if a guy is doing boyfriend duties then he is literally campaigning for that position, boyfriend duties include going out for a drink with his mates, watching a movie or soccer together, horny sexy(apparently chics dont bang friends), sharing 10k incase you are tapped out.

Makes me wonder whether we are always on the same page when we do certain things, in a guys world an outing to watch ManU playing a UEFA Cup game and dropping you off late at night doesnot count as a date, i cant leave you to get a boda am worried about my friend and her safety end of story but in a chics world’s that totally means something different.

If i want to tap that as a guy, i make my intentions clear from the get go before i get friend zoned. As men our intentions are always clear from the start, if i start with ‘Hey i love your ass’ i think you can read between those lines compared to starting with ‘hey is this seat taken’. If a guy takes you out and his intentions arent clear from the beginning just know he aint into that. We are living in a era of ‘we have sex 1st and we fall in love later’ the era of the 4 ‘Ts’ Tutule, Tulye, Tunwe then Twe….is slowly but surely fading away.

I have always thought its hard for women and men to be just friends because its always hard for either to stay in their lane. For guys the option is always open if she offers i will tap that kasita she is my friend for women they often catch feelings.

In a man’s world body count is rated as experience unfortunately for women she will be perceived as a whore. For men sex is a physical activity but women sex is an emotional thing which has to end with a sleep over so that she doesn’t feel like a whore.

I guess jury is still on whether friendship is a means to an end or friendship is an end itself.

Nice weekend.

Zenk!

 

 

 

 

 

Firing Squad

10 Jan

2015 was such a pill but 2016 ain’t a better drug..
I have a soft spot for people I would like to thing it’s empathy.  I don’t have much to give but I can relate with not having.
I learnt a hard lesson about giving or sharing, am a believer in helping but I also read that helping without someone asking for that help is meddling.
Now I know it’s better to give to a beggar because he asks for it than go out of your way to help someone because their life story is sad.
I have been on the firing squad where my ‘help’ has been thrown back in my face.  And now that am on the firing squad I have surrendered, I don’t want to be a fraud neither do I want to be a pretender.
Every single day people go out of their way to share whatever they can afford even if it’s a hug, and the end in mind being that someday that good deed will be passed on. However, an equal number of people feel frustrated that end may never be achieved because the receivers don’t believe in the means through which it’s given.
My grandma always says the reward for good deeds is in heaven and not on earth so everyday I want to give up on giving a hug to someone who needs it I remember my reward is in heaven.
Lots of times you will be on the firing squad, but don’t get tired of giving not just your money but your time, smile, hugs and kisses.
It’s so much easier to love than hate..

Have an amazing 2016, don’t stop giving!

Zenk!

Man In The Mirror

18 Dec

man

I NEED TO CHANGE THAT GUY..

I have been reckless with my words..

I have been reckless with my feelings..

I have been reckless with peoples hearts..

I have been many things i dont want to be..

AM STUCK WITH THE MAN IN THE MIRROR..

I need to have more empathy..

I need to speak not because i have to but because i mean what i say..

I need to learn how to pray again..

I need to be more honest..

I need to be more reliable..

I need to learn to love again..

AM ASKING THE MAN IN THE MIRROR TO CHANGE HIS WAYS..

 

 

 

JINJA S.S.S WINS THRILLING MEHTA PREMIER LEAGUE FINALS

7 Dec

Ladies cricket in Uganda..

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PIONEER CC 81/6 in 20 overs; Prico Nakitende 22, Barbara Mukankusi 17, Christine  Birungi 2/6, RitaMusamali 1/19  lost to JINJA SENIOR SECONDARY SCHOOL 81/8 in 20 overs; Claire Mushakamba 17, Adong Dinah 13, Damalie Busingye 11, Nakitende Prico 2/13 Carol Namugenyi 1/11 by 7 runs in Super Over.

 Super Over; Jinja S.S.S 10/1 Adong Dinah 5(2), and Pioneer C.C 3/2 won by 7 runs.

 Stephanie’s sharp reflexes, Musamali’s line and length, Naigaga’s precious single and Dinah’s timely boundary stop Pioneer C.C juggernaut.

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The Mehta Premier League T20 final at Lugogo Cricket Oval on 6th December 2015 will be remembered for a thrilling final over and super over. Even the El Nino rains that have battered Lugogo oval tirelessly took a break to let this clash of two worthwhile gladiators take place at the great ‘colosseum’ and home of Ugandan cricket- Lugogo.

The last over…

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Hold On-Topapa

25 Nov

Ramla was extremely smart with a nice body and short hair. She was always punctual, always calm never a hair out place. She was the envy of the entire school, teachers adored her and the rest of the school envied her.

Ramla never lacked, her break and lunch were always paid for by her many admirers and the attention got to her head. She gave in and had sex with Deo the school head boy,together they were like romeo and Juliet.

Ramla got pregnant, by the time she sat for her PLE nothing showed but rumours spread and she looked pale and haggard from the constant vomiting. She told the teachers that she had malaria and they believed her. As P7 vac commenced, Ramla attempted an abortion using a metallic hanger but failed and instead damaged her bladder. Ramla couldn’t pick up her PLE certificate because of her baby bump and the stench that came from her constant leaking urine.

As Ramla got heavier, Deo took off and never looked back. She became withdrawn and depressed. She gave birth to Jamal, but she couldn’t join secondary school because of a condition later diagnosed as Fistula during a free medical camp in her village in Busega. Her parents looked after and her son and kept encouraging her to keep taking good care of herself despite the stench of her leaking urine. Ramla became an outcast; the stigma was unbearable. Whenever she travelled in a taxi people looked at her with their noses turned up in disgust. Ramla gave up all hope of a normal life and concentrated on raising her son, gardening and doing chores at home.

One fine day in the middle of August, Ramla’s parents were informed of free fistula treatment at Mulago Hospital conducted by the top surgeons in Uganda. They jumped at this golden chance and they took their daughter for surgery, and nursed her throughout the next 6 months until she recovered. After weaning Jamal at 2 years of age, Ramla studied catering at YMCA and later got a job as a waitress in a good hotel. Even after Deo abandoned her Ramla had her parents for comfort.

Young girls should not be flattered by boys and men who lure them with favours and gifts. Teenage pregnancy can ruin their lives and even lead to death. Deo continued with his education but Ramla’s life was ruined by pregnancy.

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Therefore young girls need to Hold On, Linda Ko, Topapa,  No need to rush.  There is time for everything. Ramla had it all but becuase she rushed, she lost it all.

This whole month a team of bloggers has been highlighting Teenage preganancy with the hashtag #EndTeeenagePreganancy #Twefugge

Lets be responsible, Twefugge.

Please get in touch.

Straight Talk Foundation Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo. P.O.Box 22366 Kampala-Uganda, Tel: 0312 262030/1,

email: info@straighttalkfoundation.org,

Website: http://www.straighttalkfoundation.org

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/STFUganda

Facebook: Straight-Talk-foundation

 

 

 

 

Coitus Interruptus aka Withdrawal

18 Nov

Esta was only 20 when she and her boyfriend decided to stop using condoms, why eat sweets with the kaveera on!!! As the young wild juices enhanced their appetite to justify their love they opted to use the withdrawal method.

The withdrawal method of contraception, also known as coitus interruptus, is the practice of withdrawing the penis from the vagina and away from a woman’s external genitals before ejaculation to prevent pregnancy. The goal of the withdrawal method is to prevent sperm from entering the vagina.

Withdrawal-method

Esta knew the risks that came with the withdrawal method especially getting infections. She went for HIV testing with her then boyfriend now baby daddy and once all was well they went about their business.

28 out of 100 women who use the withdrawal method as a form of contraception get pregnant, unfortunately Esta was among the 28.

Esta was faced with a dilemma she wasn’t ready for, as a strong christian girl abortion wasn’t an option for her. When she shared the news with her boyfriend he was quick to deny responsibility knowing that he had pulled out in time.

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Esta was then in S6 vacation, her dreams had hit hand brake immediately. How was she going to face her parents about the pregnancy, her boyfriend couldn’t afford taking care of her and the unborn child.

When she opened up to her parents about the pregnancy and she got as much as she deserved from them. Her boyfriend stuck around throughout the pregnancy but he later moved on,the idea of being a father at 20 never dawned on him.

Esta had learnt a very hard lesson about safe sex methods, her daughter is now 8 and single motherhood has its challenges. She managed to continue with school and is now a records clerk in Mulago as well as a youth counselor. She uses her experience to advise teenage girls about safe sex methods.

in 2008, only 33.8% girls and 22% boys aged between 12 and 14 have received sex education in school. 8 out of 10 girls at University fear getting pregnant more than contracting HIV/STD/Is.

At home, 71% girls and 64% boys had never talked with parents about sex-related matters, according to the 2004 National Survey of Adolescents. As a result, Uganda’s teenage pregnancy rate continues to be high, at 25%. A teenager that gives birth is not only likely to drop out of school but also have a big number of children.

In light of this, if we are to address this hitch, there is a need to have a comprehensive sexual education culturally, socially and in politically acceptable ways streamlined within existing institutions such as schools, homes and churches alike.

This will begin to change the rigid mindset among adolescent gate keepers including parents, teachers, the community and religious leaders who still think sexual and reproductive information is not age appropriate for adolescents.

We also need to begin instilling in adolescents right from childhood concepts of leadership, emotional intelligence and critical thinking.

This will go a long way in empowering them in decision making processes so that they make informed and responsible life choices such as delaying sex.

Irrefutably, adolescent stage marks a critical time of development in someone’s life. It is a period of dramatic physical, cognitive, hormonal and social changes that occur in our bodies, which ultimately translates into one’s identity and personality.

Targeting them at an early stage will consequently make teenagers delay sex and child bearing as well as live healthier and productive lives to their fullest potential.

Adolescent premarital pregnancies, childbearing and teenage mortality rate is a cornerstone obstacle and a community concern and for that reason remains a major social, health, financial and economic sabotage in Uganda, which all of us must vividly fight.

If you want to learn more about sex safe methods please get in touch

Straight Talk Foundation Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo. P.O.Box 22366 Kampala-Uganda, Tel: 0312 262030/1,

email: info@straighttalkfoundation.org,

Website: http://www.straighttalkfoundation.org

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/STFUganda

Facebook: Straight-Talk-foundation

 

 

 

 

Am Just A Gal Not Yet A Woman..#EndTeenagePregnancy

11 Nov

Jenny was just 16 when her father abandoned her and her young brother. Jenny was just a girl with dreams to touch the sky, take her mother and young bro out of their two roomed house to a better place. However, all odds were against Jenny’s father had lots of women and Jenny’s mother was just a number to him. He didn’t care about the well being of Jenny and her young brother, he had no idea which class she was in or even which school she went to, whether she had sanitary pads, he only came around home when he needed sexual satisfaction from her mother. Jenny never felt safe at home, she didn’t have any assurances about the future nothing was guaranteed, she wasn’t even sure of her next meal.

Jenny’s mum contracted HIV from her father because of his open zip policy and further plunged her life in misery, Jenny had to look after the family since her Dad decided to go AWOL. She had to take care of her sick mum plus her brother while she went to school, something had to give and Jenny ended up dropping out of school she was going to pay for sins she didn’t commit with her future.

Through this misery Jenny’s mother decided to go to Juba to try her luck  since Uganda had only left her with scars, she had to find a way to fend for her 2 children. This meant Jenny was left as the head of the household, having to deal with thieves in case they broke into their house and also find the right stories for the landlord.

In all this drama Jenny met Allan, Allan was also just starting out having left the village a young boy. He had found his footing owning a washing bay and boda bodas. Allan was doing well for himself, because Jenny had never known anything better for the 1st time in her life she felt safe. She didn’t need advise, she had become her own mother and father she didn’t think otherwise when he proposed love. Allan guaranteed her at least 3 meals a day and those landlord rants became history. She felt safe, in return Allan wanted children and a family, Jenny was going to be a wife at 16, she had to become a woman when she was just a girl.

At 17 Jenny became a mother, she had to quickly learn on the job, juggling changing diapers to cleaning the home and looking after her husband. She had settled for a life she hadn’t desired, her cousins same age as her were still in school and used to visit to tell her stories about school and love letters. She missed this life, she wanted to be in school too, she wanted to learn about Napoleon, she wanted to receive mail through yellow pages or atleast receive a success card.

Her daughter Malaika is now 2 years, but at 19 Jenny thinks of how life has been unkind to her. She speaks with so much pain in her words, she traded places with her parents especially her father who abandoned the family when she was only 15. Her mother even with her poor health is so far away in Juba trying to ike a survival for her children.

Jenny never got the chance to be a girl but was fast forwarded into being a woman, she missed out on alot of things a teenage gets to do. She has started to attract the attention of other men but she cant afford the flirting because Allan doesn’t like it. She has failed to find a job that can give her some pride because her education level is so low, her only option is to stay at home and watch Malaika grow up while she waits on Allan to provide for her and her young brother.

Tears stream down her cheeks as she sees girls her age walk past her as they rush for evening lectures at UCU, that could have easily been her. If only her dad had been Man enough to take care of his responsibility. If he had just given her the protection she so much she desired, if he had cared a little.

Many girls are in a situation that Jenny finds herself in, broken homes and absent parents. Fathers have run away from their responsibility and child headed households are very common. Children are forced to take up the roles of their parents and face life head on with no one to guide them. Girls are more vulnerable than boys for the consequences in their case damage them forever. Jenny she was stuck in a life she wasn’t happy to be in but when life gives you lemons you just have to make lemonade.

Jenny doesn’t dream of going back to school again because she will not feel like she fits in anymore but desires to make the most of what is left of her. She would want to join a vocational school, learn something that will help her make use of the free time she has. Allan is supportive in her idea of finding some kind of employment, he is willing to help her find a vocational school. He knows he is her father and husband now, therefore he needs to find a balance between the 2.

The Youth Enterprise Model (YEM) project supported by UNFPA/Packard Foundation and implemented by Straight Talk Foundation(STF) and Reproductive Health Uganda(RHU). The project aims at increasing access to sexual reproductive health information and services among young people in business in an innovative way. The YEM project targets young people through three points of access namely; the community (young people in business), the institution (financial institutions and Vocational Training Institutions[VTI]) and the Health facility (In the catchment of business enterprises and/or organized health programs.

Jenny has a story to tell and through her story a girl who is lost can find her way.

Throughout the month of November and December a team of bloggers will be sharing such stories, follow the hashtag #EndTeenagePregancy #Twefugge.

We want to hear from you, use the contacts below and get in touch.

Straight Talk Foundation Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo.

P.O.Box 22366 Kampala-Uganda,

Tel: 0312 262030/1,

email: info@straighttalkfoundation.org,

Website: http://www.straighttalkfoundation.org

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/STFUganda

Facebook: Straight-Talk-foundation